Make The Season Bright
by revivalofawriter
Summary: Happy Holidays! Christmas is the perfect time for family, friends, and finding out who you are. When Ravi gets a letter from his birthmother, he goes on a trip to find out why she abandoned him so long ago. With him is his good friend Lou, who's struggling with her own problems. Together can they make it through this holiday season?
1. Chapter One Cambridge to Townsville

**Chapter One: Cambridge, Massachusetts**

_Greetings Mrs. Priya Martinez,_

_Hello Mrs. Martinez,_

_Dear Priya,_

Ravi gnawed on the end of his pen until it left a plastic taste in his mouth. At his desk, he stared down at the only sheet of paper that he had taken out of the new pack of stationery. He took the tooth-mark riddled pen out of his mouth and tossed it so that it rolled across the desk and fell into the tiny wastebasket below. The wastebasket overflowed with chocolate and maple frost stained wax paper. His roommate, David, had a Dunkin' addiction that only worsened during winter finals. So as much of a neat-freak that Ravi was, he couldn't keep up with the sugary wrappers, orange and pink dozen-count boxes, and handheld-doughnut-hole containers littering the dorm room. Drumming his fingers on the desk, he watched the pen as it balanced on a wadded wrapper. He rolled his eyes. He grabbed his laptop from the corner of his desk and opened it on top of the sheet of stationery. He typed:

_Birthmother,_

His fingers hovered over the keys. He glared at the blinking curser as he willed it to move forward with the perfect words of a perfect reply letter. The tension in his body recoiled as hopelessness overtook him. His shoulders slumped forward. His body hunched over the keyboard. His head hung low.

"What do you call the woman who abandoned you in an orphanage nineteen years ago?" He murmured to what he thought was his empty dorm room at MIT.

"Brah, I wouldn't call her at all. What a tool."

Startled, Ravi whipped around in his chair to see his roommate engulfed in a weighted blanket. The layer of crust under the curve of David's mouth could've passed for drool or doughnut glaze.

"You call everyone a tool," Ravi said, rolling his eyes and closing his laptop. He tucked away the blank letter and pack of stationery into the bottom drawer of his desk before he stood. "I didn't realize you were still here. It's easy to miss you in that mountain of dirty clothes you insist on keeping on your bed."

Per their casual-acquaintance-relationship, David ignored Ravi's sarcasm, and explained, "Had my last exam this morning at eight and then crashed." He tossed off his blanket, revealing the same shirt he had worn for the past week, and hopped out of his extra-long-twin bed. He opened the wardrobe on his side of the shared room and tugged an enormous suitcase from under a pile of textbooks. He slung the suitcase onto the mattress before tossing in a few crumpled shirts and stiff socks that had previously been peaking from under his bed.

An invisible line split the 250 square foot room into the prime example of a before and after makeover. David's was the before: a hurricane of electronics, textbooks, and smelly laundry. Ravi's was the after: tidy, well-organized, and complete with fragrance dispensers. But Ravi had experienced messiness before when he shared a cabin at Camp Kikiwaka with Jorge and Griff. Not to mention how his brother Luke was the only person he knew that had socks that could double as biochemical weapons.

Punctuated by the quick zip of his luggage zipper, David said, "Later, Rav." He yanked his suitcase to the floor and popped up the handle. At the door he stopped to say, "Oh yeah, you need a ride or something?"

Ravi shook his head and said, "No, I'm good." He glanced down at his watch. "I have a flight and then my brother and sister are picking me up from the airport."

"Cool. Catch you in the new year."

The door clicked shut behind David. Even though he had thought he was alone earlier, knowing that he was truly the only person in the room now made Ravi uncomfortable. A heaviness filled the small space and made it harder for him to breathe. In three strides, he was at the door, swinging it open and gasping for air.

None of the people in the hall noticed his slight panic attack.

He relaxed his shoulder against the doorframe as he calmed his breathing.

Down the hall, the guy from Ravi's physics lab was chatting with the girl that Ravi always sees studying in the Barker Engineering Library. Both were decked out in ugly Christmas sweaters and bright-colored mittens. On the opposite side of the hall, Eugene, the team lead for the robotics club, was showing off the elaborate lighting that decorated his door-room door. A trio of students from the robotics club stood around the spectacle.

The scent of cinnamon and vanilla wafted down the hall. Ravi's nose twitched. It was not the typical hallway smell of pine-scented floor cleaner and Taco Bell. Someone's mom walked down the hall. She wore a festive headband with reindeer antlers sprouting from the top. In her hands was a round cake thinly veiled with plastic wrap. The woman gave Ravi a sugary smile as she walked past his room and toward the door of the guy that threatened to beat him up last month over a disagreement about the Riemann Hypothesis.

Ravi wondered if Priya Martinez wore festive headbands or baked. Would she make him a cake if he accepted her request in the letter and visited her this Christmas?

* * *

**Townsville, Ohio**

It broke her heart to hear her mother sound so disappointed on the phone.

"_Oh, Lou Ella! Are you sure you can't come, honey? I'll miss you. We'll all miss you!"_

Lou winced at the memory. It had been over six hours and the phone call still replayed in her head.

"_Mama, you know I hate it, but I'm really busy making you proud. I'll be finishing up projects and working on papers all break here at the library."_

"_But it's Christmas, Lou Lou. Even on Christmas?"_

Lou sighed and leaned back into the driver's seat of her hand-me-down pickup truck. Her lemon-scented car fresheners couldn't mask the smell of when her grandpappy smoked in it or when her pa drank in it. Lou's eyes moved down to the passenger seat where her blank phone screen stared at her, unforgiving.

"_I know, Mama. But I'm doing so well that my mentor can't stand for me to leave. Not to mention the kids from the TA program, who have school all the way up until Christmas Eve. It would break their little hearts."_

Lou slid farther down in her seat from shame and embarrassment. She flipped her phone over, so that the plaid back of her protective cover showed instead.

"_Well, baby, we'll miss you. But I've seen you in action before so I know those kids adore you! Oh, Lou Lou, I bet your teachers just love you as much as I do. How could they not? You've always been such a hard worker. Why'd you think I wanted you to work on the farm so much? When they've got you, they've got something special, honey."_

A tear slid down Lou's face as she looked up at the winter sky through her windshield. She tugged the warm and wooly sweater that her granny had mailed her closer to her body for warmth. It was below thirty-five degrees, but she couldn't afford to waste gas heating her car until she decided where to go. The empty campus library loomed over her, making her feel tiny in the almost abandoned parking lot.

"_That's right, mama. Love you. I'll talk to you soon."_

Lou lied. She had lied to her mom for about the fourth time since August, the beginning of the semester of her sophomore year. Lou Hockhauser's first year of college at Eastern Ohio State University had been fine. She had made decent grades. She had made decent friends. She had made decent choices. But so far, her sophomore year had not been fine. Her two most difficult classes may result in failing grades when grades are posted at the end of winter break. Her closest friend had transferred universities and left her with a horrible roommate. Her ex-almost-boyfriend was caught with beer in her dorm room, which got her suspended from the teaching assistant (TA) program even though she hadn't been drinking. She hadn't even known Derrick had snuck alcohol into her room when he had begged to come over to use her game console. And what made things worse was that Lou believed that if her mom found out how badly she had been doing at college, her mom would force her to dropout and work on the family farm.

A banging on the side of her truck startled Lou and she shot up in her seat. Outside, a lanky man in a campus security uniform motioned for her to roll down her window. She used one hand to lower down the window and the other to wipe away her stray tears.

"Howdy do, officer. There a problem?" She asked, plastering on a watery smile.

"Sorry, miss. Campus is closed for winter break. You can't park here."

"But I'm a student here," she said. She dug into the pocket of her jeans for her plastic student id card.

He held up his hand and said, "It's closed to everyone but faculty. You can't park here." He tugged the collar of his puffy coat closer to his face and bunched his shoulders up to his pink-tipped ears. "Stay warm, miss. And happy holidays."

"Happy holidays," Lou murmured as she raised her window. She turned the key in the ignition and the truck spluttered to life. She gave the security officer a small salute before backing out of the empty lot and heading out onto the lonely road.


	2. Chapter Two New York City

**Chapter Two: New York City, New York**

The flight from Cambridge, Massachusetts to New York City was short, but for Ravi it had felt like an eternity. At the last second, he traded his first-class ticket for a seat in the very back of the plane. He didn't want to be catered to by the flight attendant or chatted up by his seatmate, so he opted for a window seat in front of the rear bathroom. Being short was to his advantage because he didn't mind the lack of leg room and he was completely ignored by the cuddling couple beside him. He read over and over the letter that had lived in his coat's pocket since its arrival in early November. Seventy words had made an hour-and-a-half flight feel like forever.

_Dear Ravi,_

_I'm sorry._

_I know I'm a stranger to you, but from a distance and in tiny pieces of information from pictures and news articles, I've watched you grow. I couldn't be prouder of how beautiful and intelligent you are. If you'd like, and when you're ready, I'd love for you to spend the holiday with me and my family. It's up to you and the offer never expires. _

It had been a month, so he had already cried and been angry in turns, but now he was just confused. He wondered why this person would disrupt his life after all this time. He pressed his way through the crowded airport, stepping around wheeled luggage, people seated on the floor charging their cellphones, and bouncy children. "Holly Jolly Christmas" mingled with flight announcements and travelers calling out to each other.

"Ravi! Ravi!"

He stopped in his tracks when he heard his brother shouting his name. He looked around the busy airport until he spotted Luke's trademark freckles.

"Luke!"

The brothers made their way to each through the crowd and hugged.

"How'd you get through security to pick me up?" Ravi laughed. "Who'd you bribe this time?"

Luke squeezed his brother's shoulder and punched him lightly in the arm. "You know bribery is a Zuri move. Speaking of which, she's driving you home."

Ravi blinked in confusion as he asked, "What?"

Luke unwrapped his designer, winter scarf and slide off his jacket. For the first time, Ravi noticed the duffel bag and shopping bag of store-wrapped gifts at Luke's feet.

"What's all this stuff, Luke? And again, how did you get through security? You should be near baggage claim with the other families picking up their loved ones."

"Aww, you're my loved one," Luke teased while pinching Ravi's cheeks and chuckling. Ravi swatted Luke's hands away, which only made Luke laugh harder. He settled down and said, "Seriously, though, Rav. I wanted to see you and tell you Merry Christmas before my flight."

"Flight? Luke?" Ravi asked, flabbergasted.

"Merry Christmas!" Luke cheered as he threw his arms around Ravi's shoulders and rocked his younger brother from side to side. "And possibly Happy New Year if things go well." He let go and picked up his duffel bag, slinging it over his shoulder. "I'm off to London."

A four-year-old girl, whose full attention was on Peppa Pig riding a scooter across her iPad as she followed behind her frazzled parents, ran into Ravi. She apologized and then insisted on asking him a series of Peppa Pig related questions. The girl's parents pleaded with her to come along before they missed their four o'clock flight to Raleigh as Ravi tried to shoo her along. By the time the whole ordeal was over, Luke had returned from wondering off to the nearest Hudson News convenience kiosk and stood in front of Ravi with a bag of Cool Ranch Doritos.

"You better hurry up, Ravi. You know how crazy the pick-up lane can be at JKF," Luke said between munches.

Ravi's eyes widened in fear. He scowled at Luke before grabbing his own luggage and hurrying toward the exit. Without slowing his pace, he pulled his phone out of his pocket and hit Luke's contact.

"Yellop," Luke answered. He had plopped down at the seating by his gate and kicked his feet up on his duffel bag. "Jingle Bell Rock" played in the background.

"You do realize Zuri is fifteen! Why in the world would you have her drive here and pick me up?" Ravi shouted as he dodged travelers and security personnel.

"I'm not stupid. _I _drove us here and _you _can drive you guys home, duh. She's just circling around until you get there." He dusted some crumbs from his shirt. "That's legal with a permit."

"You are not my counsel on legality," Ravi muttered.

Luke clicked his tongue and rummaged around his bag of gifts. "Is that any way to talk to your brother during the most wonderful time of the year? It's the season of love."

Ravi bumped into a tall, bulky man, who gave him the stink-eye and grumbled. Ravi gave him an apologetic wave before gripping his phone tighter to his ear and looking up at the garland hanging near the airport ceiling.

"Do not tell me you're leaving your family on Christmas for some girl," Ravi said.

"Not 'some girl.' I'm in love, Ravi."

"You're twenty."

"I'm young and in love."

Ravi groaned as he finally exited baggage claim. The icy air zapped away all the warmth he had had inside the airport.

"You sound ridiculous," Ravi said. He spotted Luke's sportscar in the front of the pick-up lane.

"When you get a girlfriend you won't think so," Luke replied.

Zuri stepped out of the Audi and met Ravi. She wore a sundress that wasn't appropriate for the winter weather and a faux fur coat that was obviously Emma's. She took his bag and tossed it in the trunk before saying, "That'll be forty bucks," and holding out the palm of her hand.

Ravi rolled his eyes and playfully slapped her palm before giving her a hug. The woman in the car behind them honked her horn.

"Let's go," Zuri said. She shouted, "These people are animals!"

"Right," he said.

He tossed her his phone and got in on the driver's side. Several more cars honked their horns as he snapped on his seatbelt. He switched on his signal and drove forward into the exit lane.

"Luke's on the phone," he told Zuri, who nodded and connected it to the vehicle.

"Luke, we can all hear you now," Zuri announced before sliding her wireless headphones into her ears.

Ravi glanced at her earphones before nudging her shoulder with his elbow.

"What? I don't need to talk to him. He didn't go to college. I see him all the time," she said at his look. She made a show of turning the volume up on her phone before staring out the passenger-side window. Reba McEntire's cover of "Hard Candy Christmas" seeped out her earphones.

"See. Zuri gets it," Luke said through the car's speakers. "Besides, Emma's not in New York either."

"What? She's not coming home?" Ravi glanced at Zuri for confirmation. She scrolled through pictures on her phone. He sighed and returned his attention to the road. Traffic in both directions was terrible. "You're telling me that Emma's going to be in Europe too?"

"Yeah," Luke said, making munching sounds into the speaker as he started on another snack. "That fashion school or whatever in Italy has a big holiday event that's gonna be in Paris this year. So, she's doing that."

Ravi pouted and gripped the steering wheel. "Oh," he said. "Well it's nice to know that I'm kept in the loop."

"Aw, don't be that way. We know you're busy being a genius, changing the world or whatever, at MIT," Luke said. "And you know we Rosses all do our own thing. Besides, Mom and Dad are going to New Zealand to launch the new resort."

"What! That's this month!" Ravi shouted.

Zuri kept her earphones in but turned down the volume as she looked over at her older brother. She said, "Why are you freaking out? This is great! We're going to get some sun instead of, ugh," she glanced out the window behind him to the grey sky, "snow. And New Zealand's awesome. I'm going to post pictures for one of my Instagram sponsors while we're there."

"See," Luke's voice echoed in the car while background noise from the airport filtered in, "We all do our own thing." He chuckled. "Guys, we're becoming just like our parents."

"Exactly," Zuri nodded in agreement.

No one spoke for a moment. The faint Christmas music and airport chatter played on the speakers while cars on the freeway crept by.

"But everything's okay right, Ravi?" Luke finally spoke. "You all good?"

Ravi felt like his heart fainted and freefell to the bottom of his stomach. Keeping his hands on the steering wheel, he mentally checked the pocket of his coat for the November letter. He assured himself that it had not fallen out at the airport, exposing this unknown part of himself to the world. He bit the inside of his cheek as he felt Zuri's eyes on him, waiting for confirmation that he was truly okay. He wondered if they knew. He wondered if they would feel betrayed that he would even consider responding to this stranger. After all, unlike Emma, both Zuri and Luke were also adopted. But neither had ever been extended an invitation from the unknown, the unknown that exists when the people who create you cut their ties after that creation.

Ravi lied.

"I'm good," he said. "Luke, I hope you have a fabulous time with…"

Zuri mouthed the name "Sarah."

"Her name's Emily," Luke said dreamily.

Zuri shrugged and mouthed, "Opps."

Ravi said, "I hope you have a fabulous time with Emily."

He put on a smile and even managed a genuine laugh when Zuri made a silly face during Luke's spiel about the new love of his life, a conversation that lasted the entire car ride home.

* * *

**Townsville, Ohio**

Xander's laugh could be a mood all on its own. It was bright and full of hope like a sunny day in June. Lou felt her spirit lighten as the sound from the phone filled her ear. It was contagious and she found herself laughing too.

"I know right!" Xander said of the joke Lou had made about his father's love of marching bands. "But yeah, what are your plans for Christmas?" Xander asked.

It was the question Lou had dreaded since she tucked herself away in the only coffee shop near campus that was still open and called her best friend. She used her free hand to grip the handle of her mug tighter. She cleared her throat and shifted her phone against her ear as she mentally shuffled through fibs to tell her bestie.

"Lou? You still there?"

She took a sip of her now cold coffee and said, "Yep. Sorry, I just got distracted by…" She looked around the shop. The long, wood tables that were normally overcrowded with laptops, books, and students on all sides were deserted. An elderly couple sat in the chunky, leather armchairs near the window, whispering to each other and shaking slightly each time they leaned forward for a quick kiss.

"My grandparents!" Lou winced at the lie, but took another sip of coffee, smacked her lips, and continued with her story. "Granny made her famous peanut-butter cookies and Grandpappy just swiped two when she wasn't looking." Lou added loudly, "Oh, Pappy!"

The barista behind the counter made a face in the direction of the beat-up couch by the bookcase where Lou was manically chuckling. Lou cleared her throat and turned her head away. The barista did the same.

"I don't blame him," Xander responded. "Those cookies are awesome!" He leaned back against the brick storefront, several steps behind the crowd lining the street for the Christmas parade. He readjusted the phone to his ear and said, "Too bad I can't stop by like I usually do."

Lou scooted to the edge of the couch, setting her mug on the low, metal table in front of her. "And you're sure you'll be nowhere near my house this year?" She bit the inside of her cheek and hopped he didn't hear the desperation in her voice. She would miss seeing him this year for Christmas, but if he found out she didn't go home then he would want to know why.

"Don't be too upset," he joked. A man with a cart of light-up wands and sticks of cotton candy rolled past him. "But seriously, if we weren't in Nashville for Griff to meet his new grandparents, I would totally be there kicking your butt at Mario Kart." Xander handed the man with the cart a five-dollar bill and selected one of the wands. "But Emma and I are all yours for spring break," he said into the phone.

Lou's stomach soured. She said, "Oh, yeah. For sure." She dropped her head to her lap but kept the phone to her ear.

"And then I'll tell you all about the tour this summer," he said. Confetti started to fall around him and the children in the crowd started to cheer as the first float of the parade rolled onto the street. It was a giant gingerbread house with dancing gumdrops.

At the coffee shop, Lou's head began to ache at the thought of Emma and Xander crammed into her dorm room. It was nearly made uninhabitable by the hoard of vintage lamps her roommate, Monique, had collected from every shop, flea market, and road-side stop in Ohio. Her Dorm Advisor and Monique were tight, so Lou's complaints were mostly ignored.

Xander shouted over the first marching band of the parade, "And you can tell us about all the kids you're helping in that TA program!"

She didn't bother replying. She could hear Xander's father praising the marching band performance and Xander laughing at his father's antics. The ache in her head stretched from temple to temple as her thoughts became more negative: She was a failure and she was the only failure because her best friends were doing amazing. Xander had impressed his music theory professor during an open-mic night, which led to that professor hooking him up with a friend in the music industry. Now Xander was set to be the opening act for a Luke Kane tour later that summer. Lou compared Xander's success to her current situation, where she was using her student discount for a black coffee in order to stretch her last thirty dollars and wondering if she'll freeze to death if she sleeps in her car tonight.

In Nashville, Griff grabbed Xander's elbow and tugged him away from the brick building. "Come on, man! The parade!" Griff grabbed the phone out of Lou's hand and said, "Hey Lou! Christmas is awesome!"

"It sure is." She swallowed back the lump in her throat and held her head up. She said, "Merry Christmas, Griff. Enjoy the parade."

"Thanks! Merry Christmas! Bye!"

Beep. The call ended. Lou let her phone fall to the couch. She sank into the already sunken cushions, closing her eyes, and wishing lying was harder.

* * *

**New York City, New York**

The elevator doors opened to the penthouse and it was like walking into a Macy's department store. Yellow lights, evergreen wreaths, and giant stars were everywhere. The whistle of a model train sounded and its wheels clacked along the tracks. Mariah Carey's "All I Want for Christmas" was even playing on one of the Alexa devices by the expensive vase from Belize.

Ravi stood behind the couch and dropped his luggage down on the cushions. A decorative pillow with a Santa-beard made of cotton balls on its front bounced to the rug. He looked over his shoulder and said to Zuri, "Should I expect a guy in a Santa suit in the kitchen?"

"Not unless Bertram decided to come out of retirement," Zuri replied. She threw her jacket onto the piano and kicked off her shoes into the corner with the doll-sized, wooden nutcrackers. "It gets worse every year," she said. "I think Mom is trying to make up for all those missed Christmases when she and Dad were away for work." She picked up a chocolate-chip cookie from the silver platter on the entryway table.

Ravi walked over to the massive Christmas tree. It actually strained his neck to look up at the gold star stabbing into the twenty-foot ceiling. "But they're still missing Christmas. At least in New York, anyway," he said.

"Yeah, but we'll be together," she said between bites of cookie. Some crumbs and bits of chocolate dusted her dress. "Unless you have plans, too." She brushed off the crumbs and made her way over to the tree. She picked up a box wrapped in shiny, green paper that was tied with a golden ribbon. Its bow was perfectly symmetrical.

Ravi rubbed the back of his neck as he looked over to her. He mentally checked his pocket again for the letter inviting him to meet Priya. He could have sworn that the skin under that pocket burned.

His voice shook as he asked, "Why would you say that?"

Zuri shrugged. She shook the box next to her ear. "Like Luke said, 'we all do our own thing.' I didn't know if you had something you wanted to do, too." She held out the neatly wrapped box. "You think something's in this or is it just some stupid decoration?"

"Would you be okay if I did?" Ravi's eyes widened. He had shocked himself. His mind sped up as he tried to search for the source of those words and the skin beneath that letter felt like it had caught fire. He stuttered, "I mean…"

His younger sister tossed the box back beneath the tree. Her phone made a dinging sound but she ignored it. "What do I care? I mean, as long as you promise to hang out with me before you head back to Boston, right? Are we still going to see that scary movie that I text you about?"

"I promise," he said with an urgency in his voice that he didn't understand and she didn't pick up on. "You're my family, Zuri. Mom, Dad, all of you. No matter what."

Her irises shifted from side to side. "Okay," she said, dragging out the "ay." "I don't know why you're being all mushy about a movie…but you're my family, too…weirdo."

He wrapped her in a hug, rocking her from side to side like Luke had done to him in the middle of the busy airport. Zuri wiggled out of his grasp.

"You're too much," she said. She tapped a message on her phone and walked backward toward the stairs. "Dad said we're taking the jet tonight and I told him I had already packed."

"Did you?" Ravi asked.

"Course not," She said, already up the first four stairs of the winding staircase. "Don't worry. I'll tell Mom and Dad you'll see us around New Years. Good luck on whatever."

He smiled up at her and said, "Thanks, little sis."

"Ew," she replied, already looking down at her phone as she climbed the rest of the stairs.

By the time his parents made it back to the penthouse, Ravi was already at the twenty-four-hour coffee shop in Brooklyn with the vegan, old-fashioned doughnuts. He wanted to put as much distance between himself and his parents as possible. Guilt had settled into a corner of his heart and he was sure that if he talked to Christina and Morgan face-to-face that guilt would quickly spread throughout the rest of it. From this distance, it was easier to make up a last-minute project and an out-of-town girlfriend as his excuse for not joining them in New Zealand.

"_Oh, sweetie! We'll miss you and we love you and we can't wait until you get back! Oh, Ravi, we're so proud of you and your sisters and brother," Christina had gushed._

"_Tell whoever the lucky girl is she's more than welcomed to the resort! She'll love it! Uh huh…uh huh…Yes, call up, Mark. He's the contractor…Uh huh… Oh, sorry, Ravi. I'm on my business cell, too. But yeah, Emily will love it," his dad had said. _

From the corner table by the window, Ravi could practically feel Christina nudge his dad with her elbow and remind him that that was the other son's girlfriend.

"_He knows what I mean. Love you, son! I've got to correct a pergola mistake by the infinity pool and I know Zuri hasn't even started packing. She's just like me…No, not you, Mark. Zuri's competent."_

That's all it took. A quick phone call with a fib that combined Emma and Luke's truths and the path was clear for whatever his subconscious was up to. Ravi looked around at all the twenty and thirty somethings chatting or scrolling on their phones. Ariana Grande's "Santa Tell Me" blared from the speakers of the shop. The one person under nineteen babbled and ran in a sloppy circle around his own stroller, his tiny boots pattering on the restored hardwood floors. Ravi wondered how many of these people had thoughts past finding the perfect candle for their coworker or how cheap they could be about the gift to send to their niece or nephew. He wondered if they would be hanging around an electric fireplace in a brownstone sipping hot chocolate and eggnog with their families in the next couple of days. He wondered if they had questions that they needed answers to about their identity, their existence and would they fly to the middle of nowhere to get those answers.

His pondering was interrupted by a cheery voice. "Hey there, would you like to try a sample?"

Ravi focused on the young man in front of him. His nametag read "Darren" in big, bubble letters. He held out a square, white plate with bite-sized pastries on it. Green, white, and red sprinkles dusted the treats.

"They're super good," Darren said. He tilted his head slightly and the jingle bell on his Santa hat rang.

"Would you meet your birthmother after she gave you up?" Ravi blurted out. His face heated with embarrassment. He dropped his gaze to the table and shifted in his chair. "I'm so sorry. I don't know why I said that. I'm just…"

"Not alone," Darren said. He chomped on one of the pastry bites. "Definitely not alone. I would for sure take a friend with me cause that's so emotional, but like a chill friend." He popped another pastry and sprinkles tumbled to the pocket of the apron around his waist. "But good luck. That's really brave of you." And with that Darren moved on to the next table.

"Thanks," Ravi said too late. He took a breath and pulled the letter out of his pocket. He read over it for the millionth time. With resolution in his voice, he said to himself, "I can be brave."

He refolded the letter and took out his cellphone. He scrolled through his short list of contacts and wrecked his brain for a person he could trust to do this with. He still wasn't sure if it would be an act of betrayal to the family he loved so dearly, so his siblings weren't an option. The few friends from his engineering program didn't seem appropriate for something like this. His closest friends from camp, Tiffany, Jorge, and Griff, were too young for an impromptu trip to a random town in Wyoming. Xander was Emma's boyfriend, so he was out of the question.

There was one person that came to mind, but he knew that she was big into family and the holidays. Ravi felt that there was no way she would have time for this, for him. But even with that doubt, a memory fought its way to the surface. He remembered that once she had told him that _together they could do anything_. He knew she had meant build a jungle gym or win a dodgeball game at camp. But in the corner of his heart, opposite the guilt he felt over lying to his family, stood hope. Hope stood its ground against guilt and doubt and assured Ravi that Lou had meant _anything_ anything, at least this one time.

"Hello?

He felt like her voice was sunshine peeking through the clouds of his cluttered mind. She had picked up on the third ring. All the noise of the vegan-doughnut shop around him, the poppy music and giggles of close friends, faded to nothing and all he could hear was the sound of her light sniffling.

"Do you want to come to Wyoming with me?" He asked. He squeezed his eyes shut in embarrassment. "Oh my, that was a weird start. I mean, hello! I mean, hey, this is…"

She said, "It's Ravi."

He slapped his forehead and said, "Duh, caller id, and..."

"I know your voice, Ravi," she said.

His pulse quickened like it sometimes did when she talked to him. Most of the time he dismissed it and this was one of those times. He took a breath and tried to come up with a better proposal than what he had previously blurted out.

Before he could speak again Lou said, "I don't have any cash. I couldn't even if I wanted to."

That activated his brain and he dug his laptop out of his bag. "I can send you a plane ticket right now. And I've got everything covered." He paused and said, "That's if, you're available…What am I thinking. You're with your family and…"

"When do we leave?" She said.

Ravi felt a weight lift off his shoulders and hope flooded the parts of his heart that were untouched by guilt.

"Go to the airport. I'll text you the confirmation code to print your ticket at the kiosk," he said. He tapped his empty coffee cup nervously on the table. "Uh, do you want to know why?"

He was too relived by her answer to question it when she replied, "No."


	3. Chapter Three James City

**Chapter Three: James City, Wyoming**

There were no non-stop flights to James City, Wyoming, so it wasn't until the next morning that Ravi found Lou curled up in one of the hard, plastic seats in the airport's rental car lobby. Her brown hair was pulled back into a loose ponytail and her head rested awkwardly on her overstuffed overnight bag. He felt a pang of guilt. He thought she looked pretty, but she didn't look peaceful in her sleep. He regretted not bringing her more than kiosk coffee.

"Hey," he said gently as he nudged her with his knuckles, "I got you coffee." Carefully, he sat the cup on the scuffed tile floor. "They have fruit cups, too. I could get you a fruit cup," he offered while lifting her coat from the seat next to her and taking its place.

Lou yawned and straightened her posture, careful not to kick over the paper cup at her feet. "Coffee's good. Sorry, I fell asleep right after you text me." She dug crust out of each eye before greeting him with a wide smile, "Hey!"

"Hey!" Ravi replied with just as much excitement. A few chuckles followed, which earned him a few from her in return. This airport was magnitudes smaller than JKF, so the sounds of their laughter traveled across the room.

She reached down for the coffee and then popped off its lid, letting the steam hit her face. She hummed and said contentedly, "Ah, the sweet smell of sugar."

"I figured the 'Cinnamon Sugar Gingerbread latte' was a good choice for you. I doubt I've ever seen you drink coffee without a ton of sugar and flavored creamers," Ravi said. He took a sip of his of drink, a mint green tea.

Lou opened her mouth to say something along the lines of sugar being a luxury or being barely able to afford a cup of hot water let alone plain coffee. On her drive to the airport, before she left Ohio, she had stopped into a Walmart and picked up a Christmas present for Ravi. She spent half of her last thirty dollars, opting to save the rest for gas on her return. She decided against complaining about her lack of latte funds and blew on the steaming cup of liquid in front of her instead. She vowed never to tell anyone why she was so low on cash. That the reason she couldn't afford much was because her ex-almost-boyfriend (the same winner that got her kicked out of the TA Program) got ahold of her debit card and spent almost all of her savings on video games and . Thinking about it made her face heat up with anger and heart sink down with shame.

"Are you okay, Lou?" Ravi asked. He was studying her expression as it soured. He looked around the empty rental car lobby for any sign of offense. He felt another pang of guilt and frowned. "Did I take you away from your family?" He pinched the bridge of his nose and said in a rush, "I'm so selfish. Forgive me, Lou. Do you want to go back home?"

"No!" Lou leaned close to him and placed her hand on his shoulder. "No, Ravi. You honestly have no idea how happy I am to be here. Trust me, there's nowhere I'd rather be."

He lowered his hand from his face. "But what about your family? I remember you speaking so fondly about the pigs racing in the snow and wrestling with your stepbrothers over who gets the first slice of pecan pie. Or apple pie. It was some sort of pie; that I do remember. And I'm sorry for keeping you from it."

Lou smiled fondly as the memory from last Christmas played in her head like an old home movie. Her youngest stepbrother, Billy, finally won the annual wrestling match against all six of their siblings. "I taught him that winning chokehold," she whispered to herself. She let go of Ravi's shoulder and said, "But believe me; they're fine without me. And they're amped that I'm here helping you!" She took a sip of her latte. "Oh my goat, that's good!" She popped the lid back on and asked, "What exactly am I helping you with again?"

It was Ravi's turn to get all moody and stare off at the cardboard cutout of the Avis Rental Car deals beside the service counter. He had been a bundle of nerves the entire trip to James City. There were three different occasions when he desperately wanted to back out of meeting his birthmother and join his sister and parents in New Zealand, but each time he felt guilty about Lou already being on a plane to meet him.

She took a big gulp of her drink and stood. He mimicked her movement and tried to avoid eye contact.

"You see…I um…Well, I had this…" He dropped his shoulders and shut his eyes. "This is ridiculous. I've brought you all the way out here and I can't even…"

"Ravi..."

He opened his eyes. Lou's tone was kind. Her eyes were warm and full of understanding. She gave him a tender smile that made his heart do cartwheels. She opened her arms and said, "…It's okay."

"You were always a hugger," he said as he stepped into her embrace.

Lou let her head rest against his as she relaxed into the hug. She forced herself not to cry about the fact that she hadn't been hugged by a close friend in months. Ravi took note that none of their prior hugs were ever this close and her hold was never this tight. Oddly enough, he felt like he could breathe for the first time in several hours.

"I understand not being able to find the right words," she said softly, next to his ear, "Believe me."

His nervousness returned and although he was grateful that it had more to do with Lou's warm, sugary breath next to his face than meeting Priya Martinez, he leaned away and stepped out of the hug when she loosened her grip. He blushed and grinned at the ground.

Lou thought his grin was cute. She thought about telling him so, but decided he would be completely grossed out. She was sure that he had never thought of her as someone who could tell him he was cute. Besides, he was obviously going through something that had nothing to do with her checking him out.

"Thanks for that, Lou," he said. He grabbed the handle of his suitcase. "I already booked the rental car, so we can get it from the parking garage and be on our merry way. Shall we?"

Lou nodded, grabbing her own bag, and said, "We shall."

* * *

Once they drove out of the lower deck of the parking garage and onto the main street, Lou pointed out the window and said, "Oh look, Ravi! It's snowing a little."

He glanced up at the pale grey sky then back down to the minivan in front of them. There was a sticker on the back that read "Proud Parent of an Oak Creek Middle School Honors Student."

Not for the first time, the line from Priya's letter flashed in his head: _I'd like for you to spend the holiday with me and my family. _Her _family._ He wondered did he have other strangers with shared genes to meet? Was that other or those others honor students at Oak Creek Middle School? Suddenly, it dawned on him that he hadn't formally replied to the invitation. His eyes widened in horror and he gripped the steering wheel so tight that if his life were a cartoon it would've crumbled beneath his hands. He realized that _he _would be a complete stranger when he showed up at the door of the return address on the letter's envelope and a Possible Oak Creek Honors Student opened the door.

"I'm hungry," Lou said leaning over the passenger seat to the back. The rental car was a compact sedan and she could almost reach the handle of Ravi's suitcase. "You got any snacks in this bag?"

"Let's take this exit!" Ravi said frantically. He hit the gas and merged through two lanes of modest traffic. His turn was so sharp on the exit that Lou shifted in her seat and yelped.

At the red light, she held one hand against her pounding heart and pressed the other against the cold window. "What in the Sam Hill! Gaw Lee, Ravi!" She blew a few stray strands of hair from in front of her eye. "Dang, I'm not that hungry."

Ravi kept his foot on the break and lifted his hands from the steering wheel. He took a deep breath. Warm, lemon-scented air filled his lungs. Internally, he counted until the traffic light turned green. He took the next turn much more slowly and mumbled an apology to his friend that was still muttering in the passenger's seat. Finally, after two intersections away from the exit, he drove into the parking lot of an IHOP. He drove into an empty space between a coupe in need of a paint job and an SUV that looked fresh off a car lot. Snowmen painted on the windows blocked the view of the inside of the restaurant.

Lou made a move to open her door but sat back when she realized the engine was still running. She looked over at Ravi, who was wringing his hands. She frowned and glanced at her own hands. About the time Ravi called her yesterday, she was the one wringing her hands and wondering if she could sneak past campus security to get back into her dorm until winter break was over.

"I'm sorry, Lou, for my dangerous driving," Ravi said. He pressed his forehead on the steering wheel. "I'm so stupid."

"You're stupid?" Lou slouched in her seat and muttered, "You're passing your classes."

Ravi shifted in the driver's seat to turn toward her and asked, "What was that?"

Her heart dropped to her toes. She couldn't speak.

He bunched his eyebrows and leaned closer to her. "Lou, are you not passing your classes?"

Her mellow breathing became clipped intakes of air. She nearly took the handle off the door as she yanked it. She left the door ajar after she forced it open. Its dinging matched the ringing in her ears. She made it to the entrance of the IHOP before she felt a tug on her elbow.

"Lou?"

She forced out a laugh and in strained voice said, "I'm starving, so I'm just rambling like a crazy person." She attempted to snap her trembling fingers. "Crazy like my Uncle Cooter, the one with the peg leg and the nipped left ear. He's always saying things he doesn't mean. He told me he wanted to fight a horse once." She held tightly to the door pull.

"Oh my," Ravi said as his eyes softened and he lightly squeezed her elbow, "You are failing your classes."

Lou dropped her hand from the door pull. Tears welled in her eyes. "Two of um," she squeaked out.

He moved his hand from her elbow and placed it on her back before he guided her back to the car. After the car doors shut the only sound was Lou's hiccups from the passenger seat. Ravi sat with his back against the door and his legs bunched up so that he could face his friend. He patted her shoulder as a stray tear ran down his own cheek.

Lou sniffled. She wiped her nose with the back of her sleeve and asked, "Why are you crying?"

"You know I'm a total empath," he said, wiping the tear from his face.

Lou gave an empty chuckle. "You must think I'm an idiot."

"Are you kidding?" There was offense in his tone. "I would never think that just because you hit a slight road block in your academic journey." He thought about offering her his hand to hold. His older sister, Emma, occasionally preferred a handhold when confiding in him, but Lou wasn't his sister and he didn't want to make her uncomfortable. So, he folded his hands on the armrest and leaned forward. "Lou, you are one of the smartest people I know. You always put other people first and you always have a plan. I mean, do you not remember those extensive checklists at camp?"

She sniffled and pouted and leaned against the headrest. "They were laminated…"

"Indeed. It was very professional," he said. "And you should most assuredly take my word for it because I'm a pretty good authority on intelligence. I do have several awards in academic achievements."

A couple of minutes of silence ticked by. The sedan's engine hummed as they sat with the heater on. The expensive SUV they had parked beside belonged to a couple that had returned to their vehicle with to-go boxes in hand. Snowflakes melted on the pavement of the now empty spot. Speakers outside of the IHOP blasted "O Holy Night."

Ravi's voice was quiet and waivered slightly as he asked, "Do your parents know?"

"No," Lou replied with her eyes downcast.

"Does Emma know? Or Xander?"

"Just you, now."

He lifted his gaze to hers and said, "I'll keep your secrets."

She stared at him for a few seconds. She could feel a chill from the window behind her and the warm air blowing from the vent across from her. She asked, "How do you know I have more secrets?"

He shrugged. "I don't. But if you do, I'll keep those, too." He reached into his pocket and handed her the letter from Priya. "Will you keep mine?"

Lou opened the letter and silently read over it. Ravi straightened his legs and faced the windshield. He drummed his fingertips on top of the steering wheel as he waited for her reaction. Snowflakes had gathered on the glass.

"We're going to meet your birthmother?" She asked once she lowered the letter. Ravi nodded. "Whoa mama!" She let out a low whistle as she looked down at the letter again. "This is huge!"

He whipped his head to face her, wincing at the pain in his neck. "Do you think we should bail? Let's just go back to New York. You like bagels and musicals, right?"

Lou shook her head and said, "No way. I have to help you do this. My life's a mess…" She took his hand from the steering wheel and placed the letter in it, holding his knuckles, "But this I can help you with. I kinda feel like I'm letting everyone down…"

"Lou, you're not letting…" Ravi started, but Lou put a finger to his mouth to shush him.

"But I promise, I won't let _you _down," she finished. "I'm going to make sure you meet Priya…what's her last name again?" She glanced down at the letter and said, "…Martinez. Ravi, you and I are going to meet Priya Martinez."


	4. Chapter Four The Visit

**Chapter Four**

It took an hour and a half to drive from the IHOP to the Martinez driveway. The car still smelled like pancakes and maple syrup. Lou had taken the wheel after Ravi's exit debacle, which he was grateful for. It gave him more time to panic in the passenger's seat.

Lou shut off the engine with the press of a button and tucked the key fob into her coat pocket. She looked over at him and fought the urge to hug him and tell him everything would be okay. She thought it'd be best if she modeled strength and calm.

"Let's go," she said.

"Wait," Ravi started, but Lou was shutting the door behind her before he could finish his objection. He sighed, staring at the closed driver's side door. He heard a muffled sound and looked up through the windshield.

Lou stood in front of the car with her hands cupped around her mouth as she cheered, "We can do this!" Snowflakes collected in her long hair and her cheeks had already started to redden from the cold.

For the second time that day, he let the thought pass that she was pretty. He blew out a breath. He unhooked his seat belt. He reassured himself aloud, "I can do this."

Lou waved for him to follow her as she spun on her heels and walked up to the front of the house. It was a long, ranch-style home with a string of Christmas lights that lined the lower roof over the small front patio. The bulbs dangled like icicles. The front door was navy blue. Small, decorative windows lined the door's sides vertically so that there were four small windows stacked on each side. Through the windows, Ravi could see the living room. A grey couch with a multicolor blanket draped over it was pressed against a white wall. A framed picture of an undistinguishable scene hung above the couch. A red tricycle was tipped over on the hardwood floors. His heart hammered against his chest, threatening to burst out and make a run for the mountains overlooking the small town.

"Lou, um," Ravi started. His mouth felt dry. "This is uh sort of nerve wrecking."

She took his palm in hers and smiled. "I'll be right here the entire time." She entangled their fingers and added, "Wow, your hands are super warm. I'm freezing out here." With her free hand she rang the doorbell. "Why do I feel like we should have brought a casserole or a pie or something?" She mused.

Ravi gave her the best smile he could muster through his nervousness. It wasn't far from a genuine smile because her ramblings and icy hand had made him feel significantly calmer, at least until he saw the blur of a tiny human race by the windows.

"Daaa-Day!"

Pointing a finger at the door, Lou asked, "Did you hear that?"

Not more than seven seconds passed when a man in a festive holiday sweater swung open the door. He was no taller than Lou, so marginally taller than Ravi, with dark hair that swept his broad shoulders. His sweater was green with blinking lights sown onto a red Christmas tree. He shifted his green eyes from Lou to Ravi.

"Uh, hello?" he said in an unsure but polite tone.

"Hi there," Lou said with a grin. She felt Ravi's grasp on her hand tighten as she stuck out her free hand toward the man at the door. He shook her hand as she said, "I'm Lou. And this is…"

His green eyes settled on Ravi. The confusion on the man's face rippled away like a pebble of realization had been dropped in the cloudy waters of his thoughts. The corners of his lips tugged upward in a bright smile that he quickly covered with his hand.

"You look just like her," the man said. "This is Ravi."

The excitement in the man's voice took Ravi by surprise. Lou felt his grasp on her hand loosen. The man took a step back and motioned his arms, welcoming his new guests.

"She's going to be so happy that you're here," the man said.

* * *

The four of them sat in the living room: Lou and Ravi on the grey couch that they had peeked through the window; the man, who introduced himself as Sam when he handed them each a mug of hot chocolate, in a cozy-looking armchair; and Remi, the little human blur that had raced past the door to alert her daddy of visitors, inside a Barbie jeep that was parked where the living room met the kitchen. A toy that had been partially wedged between the couch cushion was stabbing Ravi mercilessly in the hip, but he felt too awkward to move.

"Priya's normally home from work by now, so she should be here any moment," Sam said in an accent unlike Lou's or Ravi's accents. "Are you sure you don't want something to eat?"

"No thank you, Sam," Lou answered. "But this hot chocolate is delicious!" She took a sip out of her nearly empty mug.

"Would you like more?" Sam asked, scooting to the edge of the armchair to stand.

"Nah, I'll just drink his," Lou replied, already reaching out for Ravi's mug.

He let her have the hot chocolate. He hadn't had more than a sip because he was too nervous to drink. Remi climbed out of the Barbie jeep with a toy in her hand. She skipped over to Lou.

"This is my doll!" Remi shoved the limp, ragdoll toward Lou. Its hair was made of braided string. "It's got brown hair! Just like you got brown hair!"

Lou sat her mugs of hot chocolate on the short wooden stool beside the couch. She took the ragdoll and held it to the right of her face with her thumb and middle finger under its arms and her pointer finger behind its head.

"I don't know," Lou said in a sing-songy voice. She made the ragdoll's head tip forward and then to the left and the then to the right, mimicking each motion with her own head at the same time. "Golly!" She made the ragdoll face her. "We might be twins!"

Remi giggled and hopped straight into Lou's lap. "You're so funny!" Remi declared, taking the ragdoll back into her sticky hands. She had playdough underneath her fingernails.

"You're so funny!" Lou said. "Did you make this beautiful dolly?"

"With Mommy," Remi answered.

Sam waved Ravi over to the fireplace. Hanging from the mantle were five stockings. Two were covered in glitter, one had blinking lights like Sam's sweater, one had names written in fabric pen all over it, and the last one was a plain red stocking. On top of the mantle were several frames, all different sizes and metals. Ravi had done his best to ignore all the photos in the living room. He wasn't ready to a put a face to the name of Priya Martinez, yet.

Sam lowered his voice and said, "She's really good with kids, huh?" He tipped his forehead in the direction of Lou and Remi, still chatting on the couch.

"Yeah," Ravi smiled at his friend and then back at Sam, "She's going to be a teacher."

"That's awesome. I'm being totally bias, though, because I'm a teacher, too," Sam said. He lifted one of the frames and tilted it toward Ravi.

Ravi hesitated to look at the photo. His heart sped up again. His stomach churned. His eyes darted from the blinking light at the top of the red Christmas tree on Sam's sweater to the one on the last branch of the tree.

Sam sympathized with the worry etched across the young man's face. He said gently, "It's of my students. She wasn't there for the photo."

"Oh," Ravi said quickly, "Yes, of course." He blew out a breath and took the frame into his hands. Ten adults stood in front of a whiteboard. Over half of the class looked to be middle aged. There were two twenty or thirty somethings, a teenager, and a kid that looked no older than twelve.

"I'm an English as a second language teacher," Sam explained. He handed Ravi another frame. "And a ski instructor at the resort outside of town." In the photo, Sam was dressed in ski gear. On his shoulders was a puffy ball of pink with goggles. "That's Remi on my shoulders."

Ravi laughed. A lightness filled him and he felt safe for the first time since he crossed the threshold of Sam and Remi's home. "Mr. Daddy has a picture just like this of him and Emma in Aspen," Ravi said.

Sam raised an eyebrow and asked, "Mr. Daddy?"

"Uh, yeah," Ravi started, neatly placing both frames back on the mantle, "Formality was engrained in us at the orphanage, so when I was first adopted, I couldn't stop myself from using courtesy titles. My adopted parents never made me feel bad about it, though. Dad even calls me Mr. Sonny sometimes. I mostly call them Mom and Dad now, but occasionally it slips out."

"I call my dad 'hamster' in Spanish," Sam said. He shrugged, "No idea why. I've just always called him that."

"Waaaaaaaaaaaaaa!"

The cry from the back of the house startled Ravi. He looked around the living room. Lou and Remi looked up from their seated position on the floor. At some point, Remi had brought over her playdough kit and the two of them were making "pies."

"Surya must've just gotten up from his nap. I'll be right back," Sam said before he sped down the hallway.

Lou stood up and walked over to Ravi. She asked, "Everything okay?" as she placed her hand on his shoulder.

"Surya and Ravi are similar names, well similar meanings," he said, partly to himself.

"That's my brother's name," Remi said as she plopped herself down at their feet. She wrapped an arm and a leg around each of their ankles. "You're my prisoners!"

Ravi looked down at Remi. She had green eyes like Sam, but the shape of her eyes and nose reminded him of features he saw each day in the mirror.

Tiny feet pattered against the hardwood floor. Surya sprinted as fast as his chubby, little legs could take him. His diaper was his only article of clothing. He made a "brrr" sound with his lips and waved his arms at his sides.

"Su!" Remi shouted. She untangled herself from her "prisoners" and ran after her baby brother. She caught him around the waist right before he ran into her Barbie jeep.

"I got um, Lou!" Remi celebrated. She squeezed the soft belly of her prize, nearly tipping over from being little herself.

"Yee haw, Remi!" Lou cheered.

Lou and Ravi were too busy watching the whole spectacle to notice Priya Martinez walk through the front door. He clapped for Remi and chuckled.

Priya dropped her medical bag and purse to the floor. Her heart leapt to her throat. Her eyes widened in awe as she laid eyes on her firstborn.

"Ravi Gupta Balasubramanian," she said his name like it was a poem. "You're here."

Time slowed to a snail's pace as he locked eyes with his birthmother. Timidly, she moved toward him. She stopped a foot away from him. Her elbows were bent at her chest and her arms reached out toward him. There was a space between her arms for him to step into her embrace. But Ravi just stared at Priya with his arms tucked stiffly at his sides.

"Ravi," Lou whispered and nudged him with her elbow.

He didn't move. He didn't speak. He didn't blink.

Lou offered her hand to Priya to shake. "Um, hello," Lou said awkwardly, "I'm Lou."

Priya lowered her arms and slowly moved her gaze from Ravi to Lou. She gave Lou a watery smile and shook her hand. "Hello, Lou. I'm Priya." She gave Ravi a pained look before shifting her attention back to Lou. "It's very nice to meet you. I'm so glad you're both here."

Ravi tucked his chin to his chest as he stepped around Priya. "Please thank Sam for his hospitality," he said. His tone was distant and he wouldn't look up from the ground as he said, "Goodbye."

"Ravi!" Priya pleaded as she turned to watch him rush out the front door.

He left the front door open behind him as he rushed out of the warmth of their home and into the chill of outside.

Lou gave Priya a sympathetic look and walked toward the door. She gave a small wave to Remi and Surya as she said, "Later, gators."

Surya sucked on his thumb, still in Remi's grip, and Remi grinned at her new friend. "Bye bye, Lou Lou!"

There was a tug in Lou's heart. Lou Lou was the same nickname her mom had given her. She smiled at Remi and then stepped outside. A cold wind made the bells wrapped around the post of the patio jingle. Lou pulled her coat tighter around her and shivered.

"Um, Lou…"

Lou turned to see Priya in the doorway, holding Surya tight in her arms to block him from the cold. Lou agreed with Sam; Ravi and Priya looked just alike. The features that made Priya beautiful made Ravi handsome. She also noticed that Priya's accent was the same as Ravi's accent, a shared gift from the country they were both born in.

"We have a guest room and…" Priya shifted her weight from one foot to the other. "And there's a couch in the kid's room that folds down into a bed." Her voice shook with nervousness. "Um, and we have really good cookies. Sam makes amazing cookies, Lou... Do you think Ravi would like cookies?"

Lou looked over her shoulder to see Ravi through the lightly falling snow. He was gripping the steering wheel and muttering to himself in the rental car. She faced Priya and said gently, "Maybe Ravi might like cookies tomorrow."

"So maybe…maybe I should fold down the couch?" Priya asked.

"Maybe," Lou said softly. She tapped Surya gently on the nose then turned to walk away.


	5. Chapter Five The Museum

**Chapter Five**

"We've been circling this neighborhood for forty minutes, Ravi."

Once Lou had gotten into the rental car, Ravi backed out of the Martinez's driveway and drove four streets over to a different residential area. He made left turns and right turns and repeated the process on the same six streets until Lou could recall details of nearly each house. These houses were more elaborate than the ranch-style home they had just visited. Massive windows and double doors must have been HOA mandated. In the large yards, there were hand-carved Nativity scenes, and ten-foot-tall inflatable Santas, and lights shaped into the Star of David that burned bright even in the daylight. The holidays were obviously a big deal in James City.

"Someone's gonna call the cops, eventually, if we keep this up," Lou continued.

Ravi stomped on the break in the middle of the empty street, making Lou jerk forward. She slammed her hands on the glove compartment and screamed, "Are you crazy!" She swatted his shoulder and then pressed her back against the seat. "You're crazy!"

Wordlessly, he put the car in park and stepped out, shutting the door behind him. From the rearview mirror, Lou watched him pace behind the car. He had his hands tucked in his pockets and his shoulders were so tense that they were up to his ears. It was still snowing outside. Lou folded her lips and crossed her arms as she sunk down in the passenger's seat.

"He's crazy," she muttered. She glanced out the side mirror and saw him starring into the distance. "Poor thing."

Outside, a group of tweens on bikes with fat tires peddled toward the rental car. The group split in two with half of them biking around the left and the other around the right side of the car parked in the middle of the residential street. The tweens laughed and shouted random things at each other. One of them had a Bluetooth speaker on their bike, playing radio-edit rap music. Ravi watched them bike off into the distance before resuming his pacing.

He heard dinging as Lou left her door open and joined him behind the vehicle. He didn't stop pacing, so she walked in step with him. She turned on her heels when he turned on his heels. She tucked her hands in her pockets just like he had tucked his.

Eventually she spoke, asking, "Want to know another secret?" Ravi didn't reply or stop pacing, so Lou nodded and continued to speak. "I had a crush on a guy that basically robbed me, lied to all of his friends about us, and got me kicked out of the teaching assistant program." She shuddered before adding, "And I haven't told anyone the truth about it."

Ravi spun in front of her so fast that Lou couldn't stop herself from bumping into him. He gripped her forearms to help her rebalance as he dug his heels into the snow. She could feel him staring at her as he waited for answers to questions that he hadn't asked yet. Embarrassment blanketed her like the snow blanketed the rooftops of the houses around them.

He decided that she might not mind holding his hands because she had been so kind to do so earlier. So, he released her forearms and squeezed both of her hands. They stood there in the middle of the street, holding hands and listening to the world in silence. Soon a woman with her dog on a long leash walked by on the sidewalk. They could hear they dog panting while the woman chatted on her wireless headset.

"No, Myka. I told you the Yuan portfolio is our top priority before year end," she said. "Are you kidding me, right now? Uh huh. Uh huh. Mmm. What do you expect me to do from James City, Myka? Uh huh. Well it's my vacation home."

The woman walked up to the only house with a short gate around its front yard and went inside with her dog following beside her.

Watching the woman unleash her dog, Lou asked Ravi jokingly, "You think Myka will get the job done?"

"Well he or she does have nine days left in the year," Ravi replied.

Lou smiled at Ravi. "I think we just saw future Zuri."

He gave her a tiny smile and nodded in agreement. After a moment, he exhaled into the cold and a cloud of white spiraled upward. "I'm sorry for…" He let go of one of her hands and motioned toward the car. "…For all of that and…" He pointed North, toward the road that led back to the Martinez's house. "…And that." He flexed his hand in the cold and continued, "I just, I don't know, freaked out or froze. It was like everything was moving in slow motion and I panicked."

Lou took his hand back into her own and said, "It's okay to panic. I mean meeting her was a big deal."

"Why didn't I just say something? We traveled all this way. I had so many things that I kept telling myself that I would say and I would ask her…and I couldn't even get out a 'Hello.'"

"Well, do you want to go back? I'll drive and…"

"No!" He squeezed her hands and exhaled again. "I'm sorry. No, I just…No."

"Okay. But can we get back in the car? I'm freezing like a game bird in the icebox here."

"Right! Of course, here," he said, tugging her toward the driver's side. He opened the door and waited for her to step in before walking around the front of the car and getting in on the passenger's side. "I figured you'd want to take the wheel now."

"You figured right. Your driving privileges have been officially revoked," Lou said. She shifted the car out of park and into drive. "And I know exactly where we should go."

* * *

Twenty minutes later Ravi and Lou were standing in the lobby of a brick building in downtown James City. The building was over one hundred years old but it had been restored like many of the other buildings in downtown. The town looked like a holiday postcard with all of the restored architecture, street lanterns, and snow.

Inside the lobby, it smelled like baked apples and roasted coffee beans. There was a desk in the middle of the space. Behind it stood an elderly woman wearing a knitted Santa hat. There was a sprig of mistletoe pinned to one side and a cross pendant on the other side.

"Excuse me, ma'am," Lou said to the elderly woman. "Where is the museum? I saw it listed on the marquee outside."

"Right in the room over there, dear," the elderly woman answered. Her dentures gave her a strong, bright smile.

"Aren't you just radiating Christmas cheer," Lou said sweetly. "I just adore that hat."

Charmed, the woman pressed both of her hands to her face and grinned. "Oh! Thank you, dear." She looked at Ravi and added, "Isn't your friend just the sweetest little thing?"

"Absolutely," he said good naturedly.

They found their way to the door the woman had pointed out. In the dark room, there was a bench in the middle of the room with speakers on either side of it. Classical music played and it was the first non-holiday music that they had heard during their travels. The volume of the music was enough to muffle the noise from the lobby but if one of them spoke, they wouldn't need to shout to be heard. On one side of the wall there was a projection of a silent film. On the opposite wall, two lights were mounted. One light above and one below illuminated a painting that took up two-thirds of the wall. Underneath each piece was a plaque that listed the title, artist, and year of the work.

Lou stood in the corner near the entryway while Ravi inspected each plaque. He stood in front of the painting for a moment, admiring the detail the artist had put into her work. Next, turning his attention to the film, he stepped around the edge of the bench and took a seat. In the dark, the images of the film flickered across him, the bench, and the speakers. Lou sat on the far end of the bench. She felt like with the hug at the airport and the hand holding in the fancy neighborhood that she may be pushing Ravi out of his comfort zone and the last thing she wanted was for him to feel uncomfortable. She was a touchy-feely kind of human, but she wasn't so sure that he was cut from the same overly affectionate cloth. She would agree that he was a highly emotional and especially sensitive person, but from her four and half years of knowing him, she always initiated any form of physical contact.

"This museum kind of sucks doesn't it," Lou said.

"It's limited I admit," Ravi replied. He turned to face her. "But it's charming."

Lou scrunched up her nose and said, "Is it, though?" She took off her jacket and placed it in her lap. Some snowflakes melted against her legs. "I kinda feel like demanding my money back even though this was free."

"I appreciate the thought," he said. "And kudos for knowing museums are normally my happy place." He folded his hands in his lap and looked straight ahead at the projection. "'The Blue Danube Waltz.' That's what's playing on the speakers."

"I always hear this in cartoons," she said, watching the footage of a 1930s skier. From what they had learned from the brochure at the IHOP, James City, Wyoming was a big ski town.

"The guy you had a crush on," Ravi started. His eyes were still focused forward.

"Ravi, I don't really want to talk about…"

"He's an idiot," he said.

Lou fidgeted with the sleeve of the coat in her lap. In her peripheral view, she could tell that Ravi was at least pretending to watch the film. The combination of him not watching her fidget and the darkness of the room allowed her to give voice to her thoughts.

"I'm the idiot," she said. Another song began to play on the speakers. An image of James City in all its post-restored glory flickered on the wall. "Sometimes I don't even understand why I go for the guys that I do. I mean, I've had non-jerk boyfriends…well, one non-jerk boyfriend. We were both seven and we both liked green jello. He moved away before second grade. But I either ignore all the signs that the person is wrong for me, really wrong for anyone if I'm being honest, or I miss all the right signs of someone that's great. And he ends up with someone who paid better attention to those right signs than me."

"You shouldn't blame yourself for this guy's bad behavior, Lou."

She folded her coat over her arms and hugged it closer to her. "After you hear this story, you're not going to be so lenient." He didn't respond, so she sighed and then began her tale. "Melissa, you remember me telling you about Melissa this summer, right?"

"Possibly. Was she the um the anthropology major?"

"Yep, Melissa. We were thick as thieves last year. We were practically everything to each other: study buddies, roomies, her wingman at parties. But she transferred to Florida State to be closer to her grandparents."

"I'm sorry, Lou." He scooted closer to her on the bench. "I of all people understand how hard it is to make friends."

"Without her I just kind of felt lost. Our mutual friends were really more her friends than mine and so we didn't really hangout much after Melissa transferred. And then when my classes got harder, I really felt like all the control and like confidence that I had was starting to slip through my fingers."

Ravi placed his hand on her shoulder and asked, "Why didn't you say something? Emma would've flown from Milan on the jet immediately for you."

Lou shook her head. "You've met our friends, Ravi. _All_ of them are doing amazing things. I didn't want to seem like the loser." She tilted her head back. "So, I didn't say anything to anyone. And it seemed like everything just got worse from there. My roommate has made our dorm room a lamp-hoarders paradise! And Derrick slithered right in to the Melissa-sized hole in my life."

"Derrick is the 'ex almost-boyfriend' and crush I presume?"

"Yep," she said, popping her lips together. "Get this, the only reason I even approached the guy was because he started…a rumor…about me."

Ravi's eyebrows shot up. He could feel the heat of anger creep up his neck. "What kind of rumor?"

"Eastern Ohio State has an agricultural program, so there's a barn and stuff on campus. The grad students are nice enough to let me help out with the horses. You know how I love horses. Occasionally I leave the site with hay in my hair. Derrick noticed and started a rumor amongst some of his DCPM bros that I made-out with him in the barn."

Ravi's nostrils flared in anger. He scoffed, "I've seen you wrestle a catfish that matched Zuri and Tiffany's combined body weights one summer. Please tell me you pummeled this… _Derrick_." He said Derrick's name in disgust, like it left a foul taste in his mouth. "And what the heck is a DCPM? Does it stand for Derrick Can Paaa...Derrick Can Phhh…um…Derrick can kick rocks!"

"Dairy Cattle Production and Management major," Lou said. She lifted her legs onto the bench and crossed them. She leaned forward with her arms resting on her lap. Ravi mirrored her movements and sat with his legs crossed beneath him as well. "I appreciate the sentiment. You're right; he can kick rocks. But I didn't see that at the time. I was lonely and sad and just excited that someone was actually paying attention to me."

"I'd pay attention to you," Ravi said. His heart sped up. "You're my friend. And as your friend, I'm happy to give you all the attention that you'd like. Anytime. I can keep you in attention like a carbocation keeps a positive charge."

"That's sweet. But it's not what I meant," Lou said.

He wanted to say that he knew what she had meant, but she continued talking.

"I wish I had told Emma or you about Melissa three months ago. Before Derrick used my money to buy stupid junk and sneak beer into my dorm room, which by the way is the reason I got kicked out of the TA program." She hiccupped. Her eyes began to water. "And I loved teaching those kids. It was the only thing I hadn't screwed up and then I screwed it up anyway." She lowered her feet back to the floor and hung her head low.

Ravi lowered his feet to the floor as well. He scooted close enough that his shoulder pressed against hers. He said, "You are not a screw up. I know things are difficult right now. But I know that you, Lou Hockhauser, can do anything."

She lifted her head and faced him. Fresh tears glistened on her face in the light of the film projection. He swept his thumb across her cheek to brush a few droplets away, but pulled his hand away quickly afterward. He cleared his throat and leaned away from her slightly.

"You can do anything, too, Ravi," Lou said. "Let's go back to Sam's house. Go say to Priya what you came all this way to say. I'll be there for you." She bumped his shoulder with her own. "Like you've been here for me."

He thought over her words before saying, "Let's try this again."


	6. Chapter Six The Recordings

**Chapter Six**

When they approached the navy-blue door of the Martinez residence for the second time that cold day, there was a sheet of notebook paper taped to the center of it. It was the same type of paper the letter that Ravi had received in November had been written on. Lou tugged it off the door and handed it to Ravi.

"They're at the snowflake parade at the resort Sam works at," Ravi said. He read a line from the note, "'You're welcome to wait. We hope you do.'" He lowered the note and looked around the snow-covered yard. The flakes had stopped falling. Now there was just the occasional cold wind that kicked up a bit of powder.

"Look," Lou said, squatting down to the envelope poking out from behind a ceramic rabbit wearing a Santa hat at the base of the front door. She opened it and found a silver housekey. She asked, "Do you want to wait?"

He eyed the house. The sound of Priya's medical bag and purse hitting the floor replayed in his head. From the corner of his eye, he could see the lights on the neighboring houses twinkle on. He turned and looked up at the darkening sky.

Lou decided for them as she stuck the key in the lock. "It's freezing and I want some of those cookies she mentioned." She pressed open the door. "Hello?" She called out, peeking around the doorframe. The hallway to her right was empty. She stepped inside and gasped. "Cookies!"

Ravi followed behind her, shutting the front door and turning the lock. He saw the tray of cookies on the mantle, where those picture frames that Sam had shown him used to be. A part of him wished the pictures that he had tried so hard to avoid seeing were still there because he could already feel himself forgetting what Priya looked like. The other part of him was a little upset that he cared to remember her face.

Lou picked up the tray of cookies and looked down at the floor. She used her foot to point at an arrow made of washi tape on the floor. "A trail! Oh boy, I love a good hunt." She handed Ravi the tray of cookies before tossing her coat onto the grey couch. "Come on!"

The arrows led to the fridge in the kitchen. Lou opened the door and found two glasses of milk. There was a sticky note shaped like a heart attached to one of the glasses. It read, "Take me to the garage." There was another set of glasses below that held water and had a note that read, "Or me. If milk's not your thing."

Lou grabbed all four glasses and said, "Cute! To the garage!" She did a mental recap of the outside of the house where she drove up and then glanced around the kitchen. "That door there!"

Ravi made his way to the door with the tray in hand. He balanced it against his side as he opened the door for Lou to enter.

"Oh! This is just adorable," Lou said, placing all four glasses on a card table that had been propped up for them. There was a red-and-green tablecloth that barely stretched across the tabletop. On that cloth were plates of various shaped crackers, cubes of yellow and white cheeses, sliced apples, and carrot sticks. Colorful Christmas lights were strung along all four walls. Patio furniture was placed neatly in the center of the room, around a flatscreen television. There was a sectional with spongy looking cushions in a Hawaiian floral pattern. The garage had heating because it was toasty and cozy inside.

Lou cooed, "And they made you a special sign!" She pointed at the poster on the garage door: Welcome, Ravi! "It's like they set up a little welcome back party for you."

He placed the tray of cookies on the table. He removed his jacket and placed it neatly on a folding chair. His face was neutral as he looked over the food, lights, and seating. "A party that no one's around for," he said in monotone. He sat in the corner of the sectional.

Lou loaded up a plate of crackers and fruit as she said, "Maybe Priya figured this was the best way to ease you into it." She plucked a gingerbread man off the cookie tray and balanced it on top of her glass of milk. "We kind of ditched her last time. Which was fine. I think she just wants to do this on your terms."

"I suppose," Ravi replied. He noticed a cord connected to the front of the tv that disappeared behind the screen. A remote on the other end of the sectional caught his eye. It had a ribbon tied around it in a glossy, red bow. He picked it up and pressed the power button. On the screen appeared the face that he thought he'd quickly forgotten. Relief, confusion, excitement, and anger all fought fiercely for dominance of his psyche.

"Hold on," Lou said. She plopped down beside him, and a bit of milk sloshed onto her hand. She sat the glass at her feet and shook her hand dry. "Okay, I'm ready." She snuggled into the sectional cushions, tucking her legs beneath her. "Are you?"

He gulped. His grip was loose on the remote in his shaky hands. He looked her in the eye and asked, "If I run?"

She smiled and held up her gingerbread man, making the cookie dance. "We'll come get you."

He felt something inside of him click. It gave him the courage to press play and the video began:

"_Uh, wow," Priya said. "Okay." She dropped her head down to her hands. "Wow." She tilted her head back and shook her long, dark hair._

_She was seated on the convertible couch in Surya's room. Her iPhone was horizontally placed on a tripod in front of her. Behind her, the wall was a light blue color. Her toddler's name was painted in big, bubbly letters in a darker blue. Finger painted handprints dotted the wall._

"_Okay," Priya started again, tilting her head forward. She clapped her hands together and refocused on the camera. "Here I go." She blew out a breath, did an odd little dance in her seat, flapping her arms at her sides. "I've got this. I'm not a weirdo." She looked down at her arms and immediately stopped flapping them. "I'm a little weird, Ravi."_

There was a spark in his chest when he heard Priya say his name. He agreed with Sam; he did look like this woman. Same eyes. Same nose. Same everything.

"_So, if you're a bit strange, it's genetic," she laughed. Her eyes lit up. "But I bet you're amazing." She lifted a stack of papers from the couch. "Or rather, I know that you're amazing."_

_She shifted through the papers, holding up printed images and articles as she listed off achievements._

"_National Scholar. Volunteer of the Year. Best in Show Pet Owner."_

_She held a picture of Mrs. Kipling close to the camera and shouted, "A Komodo dragon?" She pulled the image away from the camera and looked down at it fondly. She lifted her eyes back to the camera and said, "You're much braver than I've ever been."_

_Her eyes watered and she dropped her gaze down to the carpeted floor. "But I suppose that's because you had to be." She looked back up to the camera. Tears rolled down her cheeks as she choked out, "You were alone in the world for ten years, after all."_

Ravi bit the inside of his cheek. He tilted his chin upward to the ceiling to blink back tears. It became difficult to hold back the tears when Priya's onscreen crying hadn't stopped for a solid two minutes.

"Do you want to pause for a sec?" Lou asked gently.

He lowered his head. His sinuses burned.

"I'll just skip through this," Lou said as she reached for the remote.

But Ravi tightened his hold on it. "Don't. Please." He wiped his eyes with the back of his sleeve. "It might sound…I don't know…wrong. But I want to hear her cry." He sunk into the cushions of the sectional. "I cried. I cried a lot during those ten years." He sniffled and looked Lou in the eye as he said, "She should cry too, right?"

Lou scooted closer to him. She coiled her arm around his arm and leaned in as close as she could to rest her head near his. He was shaking slightly. She whispered that everything was going to be okay as the sounds of Priya's sobbing played.

_Priya cried for twenty minutes._

_By the time she had finished, she was curled up on the couch with her hands over her face. She exhaled; it was shaky and a few coughs broke it up. The light in the room had dimmed from the sun shifting position outside the bedroom window._

"_My apologies, sweetheart," she said as she sat up. She shut her eyes and frowned. "Sorry, I shouldn't…I can't just assume that I can call you…" She opened her eyes and gave the camera a watery smile. "Let me try this again."_

_She stood up and disappeared from the screen. When she returned, she held a notebook and pen in the air._

"_These are the tools that may bring us together," she said. She shook her head and lowered the items to the couch. "That sounds so cheesy. But I'm kind of a cheesy person. Strange and cheesy. That's me." She smiled a significantly brighter smile than before. "But you, sir, I'm completely convinced that you are much cooler than I. I follow your sisters' Instagram accounts. And, Ravi, they are both such beautiful young ladies. But I follow their Instagram to get glimpses of you because your account is private." She pointed her thumbs back toward herself. "Probably to keep creepers like me from online stalking you."_

_She held the notebook and pen back up and said, "But I'm rambling. The point is that I just wrote you a letter. And this isn't the first letter that I've written. But it's the first one that I've finally convinced myself to send. I mean, it's almost Christmas." She bit her lip and stared down at the notebook. "And, I mean, they say Christmas is the time for miracles…so why not give it a try."_

The video ended. Priya's face was frozen on the screen with a giant play button in the center.

"That's it?" Ravi said in a panic.

"Um, let's see," Lou said. "Stay calm." She took the remote and pressed a random combination of buttons. The screen shifted and there were several thumbnails in a block of three by three. She selected the next video. Priya appeared. She was still in Surya's room but she was in a different outfit. "See, you've got a couple of these."

"Bring me that tray of cookies," Ravi said in a serious tone. "I need to stress eat."

"You got it," Lou said, releasing his arm. She grabbed the tray and his glass of milk and returned. "Here you go." She left a full cushion of space between them.

He frowned at her. "Why are you so far away?"

"Oh?" Lou said. "I thought you…okay." She cuddled up next to him. Her pulse quickened and she felt like a jerk for enjoying the lack of distance between them during a time like this. She didn't uncoil her arm from his though. "Are you okay?" she asked.

"I'm an emotional wreck," he said through bites of chocolate chip cookies. "Please hit play."

They watched two hours of Priya Martinez videos. In those two hours, Ravi learned some of the answers to the questions that lingered in the farthest corners of his mind:

When did she give birth to him? It was when she was sixteen.

When did she give him away? Three days after he was born, she snuck out of the birthing center and shoved him into the arms of a volunteer at the orphanage he grew up in.

Was there anyone apart from her, a birthfather, a grandparent, someone who wanted him when she became pregnant? No.

His stomach ached from all the cookies he had shoveled into his mouth. Lou went on several drink runs as he practically drowned himself in milk and water. He had to pee pretty badly, but he was trying to process so much that he couldn't move.

Lou rested her chin on his shoulder and looked up at him. "Hey," she said, "I'm kind of stiff from sitting here. How about we go for a walk? That street downtown is probably lit up now that it's dark. Sound good?"

"Okay. But could you peel me off this chair first? I've had to use the bathroom for like the last half hour."

She laughed. She stood and reached out both of her hands to his hands to haul him off the sectional.

* * *

Lou and Ravi strolled down the sidewalk along Main Street. The glowing street lanterns and Christmas lights cast shadows against the snow. The road was filled with foot-traffic and bicycles with fat tires. All ages were bundled for the winter weather as they journeyed from shop to shop. Carolers stood on the steps of a restored Cathedral singing Christmas hymns. Everything was busy and cheery under the starlit sky.

"Really wish I'd brought gloves on this trip," Lou said as she clutched her hot to-go cup of tea. Steam billowed from the cup. She sniffed the drink and said, "And I don't know how I feel about this tea."

Ravi popped the lid back onto his own drink and then took a sip. He hummed and then said, "Peppermint tea is excellent for an upset tummy. And our diet today has mostly consisted of pancakes, cookies and hot chocolate."

"I guess," Lou mumbled. She placed her own lid back on her cup before taking a small sip. She shrugged and said, "Not bad."

"Told you," he smiled. "Uh, so, and you don't have to answer if you feel uncomfortable," he said.

Lou mentally braced herself to talk about Derrick.

"Yeah?"

"Which courses are you failing? I mean, not doing so well in," he corrected.

She sighed. For a little while she had forgotten her other troubles. "Humph. No, you had it right the first time. I'm failing." She kicked up some snow. "Stupid Chemistry 101 and its stupid lab component. Ugh, it's the version for teaching majors, but it's so stupid that we even have to take it. Like I don't plan on being a Chemistry teacher! Why do I need to take Chemistry?"

"You're kidding me, right?" Ravi said in all seriousness.

Lou felt her face heat with embarrassment. She lowered her eyes and her shoulders tensed. She half expected him to make fun of her for being dumb while the other half of her brain assured her that he wouldn't kick her while she was already down.

"Lou, I love Chemistry! Chemistry is my entire jam. It's my Beyoncé. My Adele. My..."

"I get it, okay! And that's all well and good for you, but it's not my Beyoncé," Lou said angrily. She stopped in front of a row of newspaper dispensers that were decorated with big, red bows on the latches.

"Oh no! I didn't mean to offend you," he said as he stood adjacent to her. Two little kids holding giant candy canes ran toward him and he stepped to the side. He called out to Lou, "What I'm trying to say is why didn't you ask me for help?"

Lou waited for the children's parents to pass. They apologized as they moved past her and called out to their kids. Ravi crossed the path to stand beside her again. She shook her head and said, "I went to tutoring. It didn't help."

"Lou, I have three siblings that I've helped pass a range of courses throughout the years. That's three different learning styles. Not to mention the science workshops that I put on at camp."

"Yeah, but you're busy with your own degree."

"Do you not remember what I told you at the museum earlier today? I will always have time for you. You are one of my dearest friends, Lou. If you're lonely or need someone to talk to or need someone to help you study then I will be there for you. My parents literally have a helicopter and a jet. I can actually be _there _in Ohio whenever you want. Plus, hello, it's the future; we have FaceTime and Skype and the list goes on."

Lou exhaled and the tension in her shoulders melted away. She asked, "You'd really do that for me?"

"Do you really need to ask?"

He smiled at her and she could have sworn she heard angels sing. She looked over her shoulder and saw that the carolers were still singing about Christ's birth. She turned back to Ravi and her breath caught in her throat. The way he was looking at her made her blush and turn away. Her heart was going a million miles an hour.

She stuttered out, "I'll keep that in mind." She took a gulp of her tea and looked down bashfully. "For now, my fate rests in my final exam grade. I mean, there's some extra credit my professor offered if we turn it in before grades are due to the admin department. But I figured why bother."

The sound of trotting got Lou's attention. She looked up and a block ahead of them, at a stop sign in front of a candle shop, there was a carriage led by two horses.

"Look!" Lou exclaimed. Some of her tea sloshed onto her hands as she bounced on her toes. "We have a carriage just like that back in my hometown. Mama and I take a ride every year during Christmas."

Ravi blinked. He had been admiring her face, so he hadn't heard the trotting. He looked around until he saw the carriage. He said, "Oh, I see. Huh. I wonder where it goes?"

"Only one way to find out!" she exclaimed before dragging him over to the coachman.

The coachman explained that the route circled through downtown with a fifteen-minute detour through the nearby park. It was five bucks per person, but the sixty-something-year-old driver insisted that Lou was "too sweet" to pay. Ravi grumbled as he forked over a five-dollar bill as his fare. However, he did smile when Lou nudged his rib and told him she thought he was sweet too.

Pedestrians parted in the street as the carriage made its way down Main Street. Up ahead, there were two more horse-drawn carriages offering rides to shoppers.

"How are you feeling about…everything," Lou asked.

Ravi glanced at the decorations lining the storefronts. He looked above their rooftops and even in the dark he could see the outline of the mountains.

"How can we enjoy all these lovely decorations, if we're talking?" he said to deflect her question.

"You're not enjoying any of these decorations, Ravi. One of those Wise Men figures could come to life right now and start twerking and you would hardly blink an eye," she said. "With Priya, it's a lot to process. And I don't blame you. But as someone who has been keeping _everything_ bottled up inside, I think you'll feel better if you talk about it."

He sighed and looked down at his hands. "It's just…everything is kind of jumbled in my brain right now. It's like a word problem where I've got all these little pieces of information, the numbers and undefined variables, but I don't know what equations to use or substitutions to apply to get an answer."

Lou held out her hand for him to hold and said, "Sometimes it helps to re-tell a story in your own words. Why don't you tell me the story of Priya."

"But you were there watching those recordings with me. You know what happened."

"But I want to hear it from you. I think it might help," she said. She took another sip of her tea and then smacked her lips. "I might be failing Chemistry, but Lou got an A in Intro to Psychology."

He held her hand and said, "Okay."

The horses rounded a corner and trotted through the gates that opened into the James City Memorial Park. The trees would've looked ominous if they weren't lit with lights that spiraled up their trunks.

"Before Priya, my, uh, birthmother, was Priya Martinez, she was Priya Gupta," Ravi started. "And she was born into a large family in a small town in Northern India. Her family struggled financially. Her parents were strict and held old-fashioned views that did not make it easy for her to be curious about the world outside of her own. She was the black sheep of her eight siblings, so no one took the time to warn her about older men with distasteful intentions. Intentions that resulted in, well, me. I'm the reason…I'm the reason that her family disowned her…the town mocked her… and the suitor had no more to do with her."

His voice choked up and he sniffled. He took a big gulp of his peppermint tea. It had long since chilled. Lou dug into her coat pocket and pulled out a napkin. Wrapped in it was a sugar cookie from the cookie tray. Red and Green sprinkles littered the carriage floor as she handed it to him.

"None of that was your fault, Ravi," she said.

He took a small bite of the cookie before continuing the story. "During her pregnancy, she stayed in a shelter ran by a group of Christians from America on the outskirts of her town. She learned some English while there and helped the American nurses with other pregnant young women. She befriended a graduate student that actually helped Priya come to the US after she…she abandoned me."

The coachman let out a sob. He tugged the reins and the two horses came to a stop.

"I'm sorry," the coachman said. He pulled a handkerchief from his pocket with the name Alonzo embroidered on it in gold letters. "I didn't mean to eavesdrop, son, but that tale is tuggin' at my heartstrings." He blew his nose, loud and snotty, into his handkerchief. "My oldest, she's adopted, and she's one of the best things that happened to me. She's a general contractor in town. And my boy, he's adopted, too. He's in jail, but he's still one of the best things that happened to me too." He leaned over the driver's seat and stretched out his arm so that his fingertips could brush Ravi's shoulder. "Young man, I'd be more than happy to welcome you into my family if you still need one."

"Aww!" Lou cooed.

Ravi shifted forward to pat Alonzo's shriveled hand. "Thank you, sir," he said. "But that's not necessary. _My_ story didn't end at the birth center where Priya left me." Memories of Christina, Morgan, Emma, Luke and Zuri flashed in his mind. "I was adopted by a truly wonderful family."

"Good to hear," Alonzo said. "And what happened to the woman?"

"She became a pediatrician. She moved to a small town and she vowed to help young women like those people at the shelter helped her. And she married someone who also immigrated to this country knowing little English in the beginning. They bonded over the barriers they overcame and they had two children that she promised she'd never leave."

"Oh, I'm no good," Alonzo cried out. He dabbed his tears with his handkerchief. "I'm sorry. I just…that was beautiful."

Lou stood up carefully. She climbed up onto the driver's seat and said, "I got this, Alonzo. Take a seat." She took the reins.

"A country girl?" Alonzo said.

"As the day is long," Lou replied with a wink.

Alonzo let out a whistle as he climbed into the back of the carriage with Ravi.

"Son, that young lady there is just the sweetest," Alonzo said. He broke off a piece of the cookie in Ravi's hand and settled onto the pillowtop cushions. "Christmas time is something special."

Ravi hummed in agreement. Once he heard Priya's story aloud, in his own voice, his mind cleared. He felt lighter. His senses came back to him and he realized Lou was right. He hadn't really been paying attention. Now, he started to notice things around him that he hadn't before while Lou and Alonzo chatted. He could fill the cold air on his face. He could see how the street lanterns and trees lit with white lights glistened in the darkness. He could smell the peppermint tea that Lou had spilled on the floor of the carriage during her climb forward. As they returned to downtown, he smiled at the happy children tugging their parents toward the large toy shop with the second-floor balcony where Santa Claus was seated outside. He spotted the elderly woman from the museum lobby carrying shopping bags. She was still wearing her mistletoe hat.

"This is our stop, folks," Lou announced at the stop sign where she had spotted the carriage over forty minutes ago.

"Thank you, Lou," Alonzo said. "And Merry Christmas! You've both reminded me that I've got a lot to be grateful for."

"Aww! It was nice to meet you, Alonzo," Lou said from her place on the sidewalk. She reached into her pocket and handed him a gingerbread man, which he gladly accepted. She brushed her fingers over the manes of both of the horses and said, "And nice to meet you two adorable sweethearts."

From the driver's seat, Alonzo tipped his cap at Ravi and said, "You two go on and get somewhere cozy with lots of mistletoe."

Lou and Ravi both gave Alonzo an awkward laugh as they waved goodbye. Neither of them would admit out loud that Alonzo's suggestion wasn't the worst plan. Lou hoped Ravi thought her blushing was because of the cold. Ravi hoped Lou couldn't hear his heart beat.

"So," Lou said slowly. "I bet they're back from the Parade. Should we try again?"


	7. Chapter Seven The Gift

**Chapter Seven**

"Do you want me to go with you?"

Ravi and Lou were parked outside the Martinez residence. They were still inside the vehicle. Priya and Sam's cars were parked in the driveway. Lights were on in the living room and a backroom according to the windows at the front of the house. Their Christmas decorations were lit up for the night.

Ravi stared at the front door for a moment. "Um." He turned to face her. He studied her face. Her green eyes made him feel warm and cared for. The right corner of her mouth was tugged upward slightly like there was a smile waiting to happen and meant for him. Color had returned to her cheeks from the heat blasting in the car. He leaned forward, closing the chasm of space between them, and said, "Thank you so much for being here. You'll never know how much this meant to me."

Her heart screamed and pleaded with her to kiss him; her brain argued that it was Ravi Ross and that she had never wanted to kiss Ravi Ross before; and her conscious berated her for even considering kissing him when he was in such an emotionally vulnerable state. She didn't know how to handle her internal conflict, so she turned away from him and slammed the car horn.

Ravi covered his ears and jumped back on instinct. "What in the world?"

He glanced out the window and saw Priya standing on the porch in a t-shirt and thin pants. She wrapped her arms around herself as she braced the cold. In the time it took for him roll down the window, she was standing at the passenger's side door.

"Hello," Ravi said, dumbstruck.

"Hello," Priya said. She had already begun to shiver, but she didn't take her eyes of his. "Would you like to come inside?"

Ravi shook his head and said, "I don't know."

She swallowed down the lump in her throat and nodded. "Okay." She pushed some hair behind her ear and said, "Do you want to talk?"

He nodded yes.

A cold wind blew by and moisture gathered under Priya's nostrils. She tucked her arms closer to herself and said, "Then I will stand right here." She smiled as her eyes roamed every inch of his face and she committed it to memory. "I do so happily."

"Why'd you leave me?" Ravi asked, teary eyed.

"I was scared," Priya whispered.

"Did I ruin your life?"

She narrowed her brows and reached her icy hand into the car to cup his face into her hand. Tears rolled down her cheeks and she said sternly, "You gave me a life. You saved me from a destiny of loneliness and hopelessness. Everything that I am, Ravi…it's all because of you."

She skipped backward as Ravi flung open the car door. She gasped as he threw himself into her arms. She held him tight, crying and peppering the top of his head in kisses.

* * *

The next day, Lou woke up to Surya and Remi bouncing on the guest bed. After she arrived last night, she brushed her teeth in the guest bathroom and crashed. Confessing to Ravi that she was failing her classes, lying to the people she cared about most, and dealing with the consequences of a bad almost boyfriend gave her some peace. Knowing that someone besides her knew what was going on freed her for the best sleep she had gotten in months.

"Mornin' pumpkins," Lou yawned. She stretched before slouching against the headboard. "I feel like I've been asleep for days."

"Only half a day. It's two o'clock," Sam said from the doorframe. He waved his children toward him. "I told you two to see if Lou was awake, not start a bouncy war."

Remi did a flip on the bed. Surya giggled and rolled on his side, bouncing into Lou's side. She chuckled and tickled the toddler's belly, sending him into a fit of giggles. Remi threw her arms around Lou's neck as she declared revenge for attacking her brother.

"Come on you goof balls," Sam said. "Let's let Lou rest."

Remi pouted, "But I want to play in the snow with Lou Lou."

"You know, I could use some snow," Lou said with a smile.

Remi cheered as Sam scooped up Surya to get him dressed in winter gear.

By the time Lou got ready, Remi and Surya were already huddled by the door. She noticed Ravi asleep in an armchair in the living room.

"Hold on, pumpkins," she said to the children.

She went over to Ravi and gently shook his shoulder. He shifted and slowly opened his eyes.

"Lou?" He straightened up and stretched his legs. "I must've fallen asleep. Priya and I were up until like eight this morning just talking."

"That's great, Ravi." She smiled at him and then said to the kids, "To the snow!"

"Yay!" Remi cheered as Surya clapped his gloved hands and stomped his tiny boots.

Ravi folded the blanket that had been draped across his legs. He stood in front of the little windows around the door and watched Lou and his new siblings play.

"She's really sweet," Priya said. She had walked in from the kitchen and stood on the other side of the door. She held out a mug of hot tea for him while she held the other for herself. "You've known her for how long?"

"Four and a half years."

Priya blew on her tea and nodded. "That's a pretty serious girlfriend. What're you thinking for Christmas? A cute little necklace with her name on it? Oh! One of those adorable heart-shaped frames with all the important dates of your relationship? Sam got me one of those when we first started dating. There were only like two dates but it was still sweet."

Panic struck Ravi. "I didn't get her anything! I was so focused on…I can't believe I didn't get her anything knowing that she'd be with me instead of her family on Christmas."

Priya said, "Not to worry. Let's sneak out while they're playing in the snow. Sam's here. We'll get Lou something from town and your track record as the wonderful boyfriend I'm sure you are will remain intact."

"I really don't want to lose cool points in your eyes, but I fear I must admit that Lou isn't my girlfriend," Ravi said bashfully. "I'm not her type and we're just friends. Not to mention she's got her own things going on right now that are far more important than me."

Priya rested her hand on his shoulder as she smiled at him. She said, "I knew you were wonderful."

* * *

By 10 p.m. that night, the Martinez house was in complete silence. Remi and Surya slumbered in their beds, completely exhausted after a day with Lou. She had made snow angels, and snowmen, and inside the house she had played with every doll, truck, coloring book, playdough kit, and toy known to woman. The three of them were pirates and doctors and farmers. They ate popcorn and orange slices and sandwiches without the crusts. When Ravi returned from town with Priya, he joined the them in their games, much to Remi's delight. At the dinner table, the little girl declared that if she hadn't promised to marry Miguel from her pre-school class that she would marry Ravi instead. Once she understood that Ravi, like Surya, was her brother she was further elated but still decided not to marry Miguel. Her new future husband was now Santa Claus.

Now, Lou and Ravi were seated on the grey couch in the living room. Sam had bid them a goodnight and left for his room. Priya was fast asleep in the armchair in the corner. All the lights were off except for a nightlight by the bookcase and the lights strung on the Christmas tree.

"Thank you, Ravi," Lou said, facing Ravi and leaning her shoulder against the back of the couch.

"For what?"

"For being brave. In fact, I think I'm going to go call my mama. Let her know what's been going on with me. Finally tell the truth," she said.

"That's wonderful," he said as he instinctively reached out for her hand. They'd held hands so much the day before that it felt natural now.

"And today was so much fun," Lou said interlocking their fingers.

"It was," Ravi replied. "But tomorrow, we get to work on your extra credit."

"Ravi. I told you there's no point," Lou said.

"The Lou that I know doesn't give up. You didn't let me give up," he said. He smiled over at Priya in the armchair across the room. She snored lightly. "And look how great that turned out." He shifted his gaze back to Lou. "We're going to do the extra credit. It will _all _be correct and you will understand _why and how_ it's correct. And then, no matter what happens with your final grade, we will come up with a study schedule for when you're back on campus. Oh! And we can email student housing and see about switching your room assignment. The lamp-hoarding can't be a healthy environment. There's bound to be a freed room after the winter break."

"What if I can't do it, Ravi? What if I was never supposed to leave my family's farm and go to college?"

"I can tell you with complete confidence that you were destined to become a teacher," he said. He stood from the couch and disappeared down the hall.

Priya yawned. She glanced around the dark room before scooting off the armchair to stand. "Night, Lou," she said sleepily. She passed Ravi in the hall. She placed her hand on his shoulder and whispered, "You're going to be a wonderful boyfriend." He blushed, assured Priya that he and Lou were just friends, and then wished her a good night's rest.

Ravi returned to the couch and handed Lou a giftbag. "In fact, this is for you," he said.

"I got you something too," she said. "It's just a stupid book about different reptiles. You probably know everything in it already," she said in embarrassment.

"You got me a gift?" His eyes shone with admiration for the lovely person in front of him. "I'm sure it's a wonderful book. I can't wait to add it to my collection."

"Really?"

"Absolutely."

Lou gave him an appreciative smile. She reached into the bag. The blue tissue paper with yellow polka dots rustled as she took out a brooch. It was a 24k-gold angel the size of her pinky. The head was made of a pearl and it wore a tiny gold bow with an apple-shaped pendant that read "Teacher."

"Early Merry Christmas," he said. When she didn't say anything for a while, he worried that maybe he should've gotten her the wood-chiseling tool that he'd seen at the tool shop. "I suppose a brooch is a bit out of fashion," he said.

"I love it," she said dreamily.

He let out a sigh of relief. "Good because…"

She cut him off with a kiss. Her lips lingered on his. Her heart pattered and it felt like her consciousness was floating.

She broke the kiss and leaned away from him. Her spirit sank with guilt. She had just kissed one of her best friends without his permission. She whispered, "Sorry."

His heartbeat was like a drumbeat, steady against his ribcage. He put his arm around her waist and moved in closer. "Don't be," he said and kissed her until all her guilt melted away.


End file.
